Hello! In this post I’d like to ramble a bit about my fic, Promises of Another Kind. I still haven’t really had the chance to process finishing it or even to pat myself on the back for having the courage to start it in the first place 🥲

I’m going to write this assuming that you have already read it. (Wooo!)

Inspiration/Research

Believe it or not - the idea started with a twitter post I saw. You know, that one that said something like “what if betas didn’t know whether they’d go into heat or rut until it happened.” It was nice to see the least popular omegaverse rank get some attention. It’s something I think about every time I write a/b/o. but - besides that one time four years ago - I don’t usually give beta characters a central role in my stories. What would it look like for me to do so? Immediately, I thought of haechan.

I’m not sure how I went from wanting to write a beta love story, to one of infidelity and royal marriages. I think I’ve wanted to treat the theme of a harem, or of a third person entering a broken relationship, for at least a year. And I knew subconsciously that having a beta come in to “oil some gears” so to speak, was a good trope to explore.

I started writing without planning. I chose Johnny as the starting "antagonist" because of his face, and his tendency to elicit strong reactions in fans (positive or negative!). In real life, I see him as someone who is confident and caring, but also soft and indecisive. But beyond that, I didn’t give it much thought!

It was important for me to make Renjun a bit stiff. When I started writing I didn’t have a clear character arc in mind, but I knew that in order for us to get from point A to point B, the main character would need to start off with a few negative(ish) traits. I was gentle with his characterization at times, but the truth is, Renjun starts the story quite haughty. He shuts down Yangyang’s attempt at candid conversation and is guarded and quick to anger. He’s not very personable! 

Once I set that up, it was a matter of painting the picture, and by extension - setting the time and place. I went back and forth, which was funny. Should there be motorized carriages/cars? And therefore car parks/garages built within the royal grounds? Should the printing press exist? (Newsprint being a good prop to have for plot purposes.) Or should the story take place in a time a bit more unstable? Where word of mouth and rumor holds great weight? I decided to stick to horses, but in my head, the royal grounds in PoAK are more modern and lavish than, say, a fifteenth century european castle. I figured without the influence of christian austerity, architecture could flourish in a more uhhh garish way. LOL! Also I wanted the royals to be clean and have greater access to exotic goods (lavender oils, for example, and fancy foods). So yes, there’s some sense of “anachronism” there, or maybe a nicer, less self-critical way of putting it is, PERIOD-BLENDING. Although medieval, there are glaring examples of baroque opulence in the story. YAY.

Donghyuck’s introduction

It was fun for me to write a character introduction like this. For the first 8 or so chapters, I received a few comments about DH, about how, as attractive and interesting as he is, he isn’t very trustworthy. Actually I was lowkey gagged that readers didn’t trust him, that readers attached themselves so fiercely to renjun. Kinda cool! I did have a moment where I feared I made Donghyuck too morally ambiguous. But then - I just trusted my gut lol. part of the whole “beta” stereotype was seeing where the stereotype even came from. I really liked the idea of Donghyuck being a sort of social chameleon who, for the sake of survival, learned from a young age how to adapt and perform whichever identities pleased those in power. And later, in ch.10, we see him code-switching with his childhood friend. It’s cool because for the whole fic, I was writing from the pov of a very privileged, wealthy person and I tried hard to capture the "othering gaze" that tends to happen when someone of one class perceives someone of another class. 

A big portion of Renjun’s fixation with Donghyuck comes from otherness, or difference. Renjun doesn't identify with Donghyuck and therefore sees him as a threat. But also, he compares himself to him, and concludes, rather unfortunately, that they are both exact opposites. This realization hurts Renjun’s ego, one that is already withering due to Johnny’s rejection.

Donghyuck is kind of a lone wolf in this story. Like Renjun, he’s never fully trusted with the truth from Johnny (not until the letter reveal). But unlike Renjun, he has no claim to it in the first place. The princes don’t owe him honesty. I like to think he was eager to move up in rank and begin serving as an attendant to the prince. At the start, he comes off as insolent because he’s under the impression that this is what both prince’s want (at least, that unorthodox approach seems to be what Johnny likes). Donghyuck has no real understanding of deference and etiquette in that garden scene, or even later when Renjun runs into him after walking Muji. It takes training from Sohee and the others to learn appropriate behavior. (which is why I figured it could be nice to include that exchange between him and Sohee while ironing.)

But of course, once he does learn a few manners, Renjun has pretty much already grown to like him for his lack of social/political greed and noble upbringing.

Last thing - Donghyuck’s sister. It was important for me to have her in the story because she alone is Donghyuck’s family. His property, his companion, his blood - it’s all represented in this one character. I liked having that as a foil to Renjun, who has two royal families attached to him.

Prince/King Johnny

It’s worth mentioning that Johnny is pretty much suffering just as bad as dongren, if not worse (because on top of being in love with someone he can’t be with, he’s also GAY!). I can see why some readers (based on comments lmao) were frustrated with him. He’s the strangest character I’ve ever written. There were times where I wanted to take the easy way out and write him in a more conventional way (easier to anger, more violent, more cruel). But… I was inspired by situations in my personal life, with people who cause severe harm without meaning to, who have shortcomings that end up hurting the people around them… it’s more subtle, I guess! Johnny, for almost the full entirety of the fic, is very wounded and kinda like… developmentally arrested/stuck. The whole story of PoAK begins because of Johnny’s woundedness (or maybe I can call it his “functional handicap”). And so, in the final scenes, when Johnny finally puts his foot down, and gives a substantial, focused, and decisive order (to Doyoung) I knew the fic was over.

[[[BTW - it was important for me to have Johnny’s character breakthrough happen once Renjun truly proved to him that he was trustworthy (which happens when he refuses to reveal Jihyo’s name to Doyoung). ]]

The fic, to me, isn’t solely about dongren getting their happily ever after (which, they DO! sorta), but about Renjun and Johnny’s partnership (and - on a different note - about Renjun growing to clear a path for himself that embraces vulnerability, passion, and resilience).

From ch. 10:

“Doyoung, begin the investigation at dawn. Let us act swiftly. Money is no issue. If we decide to pay it, then we will. I am King. I do not answer to the lords of Coins. If they have questions about the money transfer, asking and poking around like ungrateful vultures will get them fired. Make that clear. Speak with Taeil…Make it believable.”

I would have loved to reveal Johnny’s inner monologue here. How he goes from accusing Donghyuck while throwing a tantrum to making several cohesive orders, far more strategic in nature. He’s basically saying, “find a cover for extracting the money and pay it! Who gives af if it seems shady to the lords of Coins? IM THE KING. I can exercise executive power literally at will.” And that’s that! 

Renjun’s ears are buzzing. His husband is finally acting as King. And he's taking Renjun’s side. For the first time since entering the office, the knot in his stomach begins to loosen.

Here is Renjun’s relief. Kind of funny that in the moment he feels true allegiance with Johnny, Renjun also feels unsafe in the castle. Which leads us to the final scene!

PoAK Ending

Renjun’s gut reaction to feeling the true weight of his regal status, the true precariousness of being the face of the kingdom, is to remove Donghyuck from royal grounds.

A few lines down, Renjun stumbles again. He gives a sort of detached suggestion, and then later adds the word “Please.” to show that it matters to him.

“You can come with us. Please.”

When Donghyuck agrees, when he accepts the invitation, their story is set. They’ll continue to risk and hope for the best :D the Crown will pay the hush money. the Crown will find someone to blame and incarcerate. Junhui will grow and begin walking, and dongren will start a life in Yros under the pretense of preparing the Young Lord for his post at the ports. DH agreeing to RJ's plan is them agreeing to continue to take the risk daily. which brings me to the final section of this long ass, self-indulgent ramble:

Themes in the story

1. Covenants/allegiance/contracts - someone very big-brained left a comment about dongren’s “verbal marriage” having a religious undertone. Um…. I CRIED READING THAT. Because, yes! My last author’s note explains it more.

I liked the idea of creating alliances/covenants verbally, without rituals or ceremonies and political motivations...promises that operate outside that realm...promises of another kind, perhaps... which is why these verbal affirmations are so important for these two, it's all they have.

Also - at risk of getting too theoretical - I do love thinking of verbal affirmations as these prayer-like mantras. Or even, as acts of devotion. I guess another thing to think about is the inherent legalese of a marriage contract and how the title of the fic is essentially showing how dongren vow to make daily promises to each other in order to affirm what is otherwise completely immaterial and legally nonexistent.

2. Resilience/being nimble - this is just me inserting some hard-learned life lessons lmao. People who follow me on twitter know that while updating this fic, my professional life kind of fell apart. Tbh I’m still processing all of that lmao but to get back to the story, I identify with renjun’s character a lot (surprise, surprise) and knew that watching him work through his mommy issues and war trauma could be really gratifying and cathartic. Renjun is someone that conquers the world by thinking of it. And when things (his alpha husband being in love with another alpha; his child dying; his untameable love affair with a sex worker) begin to occur that destabilize the foundations of his understanding of the world, those inflexible core beliefs will eventually snap. I don’t think I gave that feeling full justice, but I sure tried.

3. Sex - there’s a lot of sex in this fic! And I enjoyed using sex to explore different things between each character pairing/dynamic. During renjun’s first heats, johnny is emotionally detached. At this point of the story I admit I purposely chose certain words to lead readers astray (hehe); to make him out to seem selfishly cruel, in some ways. The truth is, johnny at this point of the story, planned to die with his affair as a secret. Never did he think he would let renjun in on the truth, fearing immediate exposure and ridicule. Donghyuck being there isn’t just for getting an heir, but for Johnny to remove himself from the equation as much as possible (to protect himself from Renjun’s shrewd observational skills, even in heat.) Sex with donghyuck later on, is radically different. It takes donghyuck time to learn to ask for things, and renjun takes time to allow himself to feel full attraction. The sex scenes are where we see what each of their fears and worries are. and their desires.

4. Family/upbringing - Renjun’s mom “wore the pants” in her marriage, basically ruling from the sidelines. Johnny’s mom is warmer, less involved with politics, and more into being a socialite. But who knows what type of woman she would have become had her kingdom been invaded and attacked (as Zen was). Renjun’s father is lame. He’s in a wheelchair. When we see him he’s always cheerful and almost..strangely oblivious. Xiaoting was a great way for me to further illustrate Renjun’s past and for us to see how Renjun’s anxieties about marriage also affect Xiaoting. Oh the plight of an omega…..

ALRIGHT ENOUGH! That’s all I got for now. If you made it here.. omg hey ;) *fist bumps you and shows you a backflip*

a song about a queen at war